Tomorrow I'm headed on a sponsored PhD writing retreat with a group of women in our mentorship program. 3 days, food provided, a warm bed, and the promise that we get as much writing done as humanly possible in the time.
This is the first time I'm leaving the kids. So part of me is super excited and the other part utterly terrified. Fortunately or unfortunately, in my circle there are both those who are horrified I'm leaving my children and those who are horrified I haven't ever done so before. Of course, Eug is equally (more) capable, so that is not the issue. But we are used to being a team. This is the first time it's felt sortof maybe ok to go. Eli is still breastfeeding, but apart from that he is a pretty grown up boy. So with this trip, I am grieving the end of the stage that Eli is passing through- where he needs me less.
Today I took Noah and Eli to Canal Walk, the mall that pretty much epitomises everything I dislike about capitalism. Noah has been wanting a bubble thingy (see how I don't call it a gun?) since forever and I figure there are worse evils in the world (particularly if they make the next few days easier for Eug and my parents). For the first time, Noah and Eli were both walking around the mall independently, and I realized that this phase in my life- the one completely dominated by bodily fluids and constantly washing and cleaning- is quickly passing. I hope the extravagant and exuberant love that Noah and Eli share with us won't pass as quickly. In the meantime, I'll be trying to make the time here in Greyton count.