Peeking out of survival mode

Noah's idea of hiding...

We've spent much of this year in survival mode: we've gone through so many major life changes in such a short time. Survival mode is sort of an unfortunate place to be, because in it it's hard to step back and see the bigger arc of our lives, and also quite hard to fully enjoy the tiny beautiful moments that make up most of the day. I'm often stuck in this middle ground, where I'm thinking about the plan for the day or week- neither appreciating what's happening right now nor the bigger story that I'm a part of.  I think this is quite common for parents of small children. We're sleep deprived!

We have gone one week without a car, and without it our choices have been greatly reduced. It's less about the car and more about the sudden change of pace, but I was suddenly pushed out of planning our survival. I'm a planner and a control freak by nature, so rather than acknowledge that something isn't working I tend to try to find another plan, and yet another, and another. Chocolate at the end of the day is one survival plan. TV is another. Eating out or coffee out is another. Or just taking Noah and Eli on an adventure. Some of these are fine but others aren't. Chocolate at the end of the day is awesome but it is a sad highlight. I don't want to spend the whole day waiting for the moment when both kids are asleep, or even later, when I feel like I can stop working.

 

This week the number of genius plans I could come with to make our lives work was very limited. In a very good way. It's been.... quiet. 

We all try to make our lives work. My experience when I pray is that I get some perspective on why something is not working or why I'm trying so hard. I think God sometimes enters in and asks me things like: oh, you're really not coping with cooking while watching the kids. Do you have to do both? oh. I guess not. 

Here's to peeking out of survival mode and enjoying what is and what will be. May it be so for you this week.