So I do sometimes give Noah "stones" rather than bread. Excuse the extended metaphor: I make things a bit complicated- does Noah really need bread? Or will bread spoil him? Would a stone be character building? Granted, I feel some guilt over getting rid of all his toys in Boston, but I really don't think that was too much of a big deal in the scheme of things. The toys were probably neither bread nor stones. It's more in the day-to-day, there are things that genuinely are "bread" to him: my time, good food, unabashed affection, fun experiences with loved ones.
I get fearful that I won't have enough supply- enough time, enough good food, enough special experiences. That I need to ration and not raise expectations too high. There are other things at play here, but I want to step into the simplicity of simply trying to give Noah what he needs (and sometimes just wants), as best I can. And giving Tiny blob what he needs, as best I can (which is a little tougher to define because he's currently still in utero).
I think sometimes God gives us good stuff because we ask for it, not because it's necessarily going to contribute to our long term growth and such. For example, Noah's totally obsessed with fountains, and I find myself considering buying a water feature (in, uh, five years time) even though I find them mildly ridiculous. I think sometimes God gives us the silly water fountain, because he understands what it means to us in a way that noone else does. Here's to being the parent who understands our kid's needs and wants, and being that child, also.
I think it's helpful to remember, when navigating that zone of almost but not quite having two children, that when the baby arrives there will be another person to love Noah and another person for Noah to love. It's not like you're resources of attention get cut in half, it's something completely different. In a good way!
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